Product Description
… Scattered notes are sprawled across the first page of the journal. Thoughts thrown at the page in the first manic burst of a new project for Max. A diary of his past and keeping up with his present to better understand his own journey …
Date (relative): May 9 2025 – late evening, raindrops still ticking on the skylight
Location: My attic loft above Paw and Plume Cat-Spirit Café, NW Seaport District, Morphelio
Current Body Snapshot: 5’9″, 295lbs—belly round and proud beneath a well-loved tank, arms and legs still thick with gym mileage
Memory Flashback (sensory detail)
I pad downstairs to slip my empty caramel-chai mug into the bus-tub Nylo leaves by the side-door after close. The café is dark but still smells of toasted oats and vanilla scone crumbs. On the climb back up the narrow stairwell—steam from the dishwasher ghosting through floorboards—an idea nips my ear: “Line up your past, page by page, before it keeps shapeshifting on you.”
Emotional Reflections (what did it teach me?)
- Hope: If I sketch my history honestly, maybe I’ll see the golden thread that’s been tugging me forward—body changes, career pivots, three tails and counting.
- Fear: Ink has no mercy-undo key. Admitting the stretch-marks I worship some days and curse the next? That’s permanent.
Physical Sensations
Heart doing tiny parkour tricks; belly pleasantly heavy from late night curry buns; a warm buzz in my quads from the stairs I sprinted two at a time because I was that eager to start.
Self-Talk & Lessons
- No wallowing, no sugarcoating. Balance the cringe with the celebration.
- Keep pace. Snapshot an era, breathe, flip to the next—like intervals on the track back in the “Varsity Vulpine” days.
Foreshadowing
- Couching tonight’s curry buns against tomorrow’s deadlift session: hello, Reforging Balance era.
- Scribbled reminder to mention Nylo and the first time his cat spirits side-eyed my tails.
Chapter Sketch (road-map for beginning pages)
- “Kitsune Cub” | Chasing fireflies. First tail panic. Learning how to flatten fur under jeans and stay small in school photos.
- “Varsity Vulpine” | Sprinter thighs. Locker-room performance. If you’re fast enough, ripped enough, maybe no one questions what you are.
- “The Bulk Build” | Protein shake rituals. Ripped sleeves. Dysmorphia shadowboxing with desire. First binge. First purge.
- “Summer Shift” | Post-graduation twilight. Saltwater kisses behind rocks. Softness creeping in under the skin, and under the shirt.
- “Campus Growth Spurt” | Barbells and beer kegs. Gut rounding out. Late-night forum rabbit holes—weight, transformation, arousal without language.
- “Creator’s Calling” | Burnout. Blow-up. Cropped photos and kink whispers into a $40 mic. First time someone calls your body worthy—and means it.
- “Reforging Balance” | Today’s weight: 303 lbs of plush power. Three tails. Squat strength under belly bounce. Voice work upstairs, café cats downstairs. Guiding other soft monsters into the light.
- “Present-Day Snapshots” (ongoing) | Love bites and belly rubs. Room-temp leftovers in bed. Moments where I laugh too hard and jiggle too much. Sex. Silence. Sweat. Long walks through the Edge District where no one asks what I am—and a few already know.
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